Divorced Playbook

Ep 36: Why Does It Matter If They Are Knitting or Having Sex With Someone?

March 04, 2021 Divorced Playbook Episode 36
Divorced Playbook
Ep 36: Why Does It Matter If They Are Knitting or Having Sex With Someone?
Chapters
Divorced Playbook
Ep 36: Why Does It Matter If They Are Knitting or Having Sex With Someone?
Mar 04, 2021 Episode 36
Divorced Playbook

Nicole Ananda is graciously filling in for Scott as he recovers from back surgery. Learn more about her at AnandaIntegrativeHealing.com

On today's episode: 
8:15 -  "I'd rather take a chance and get sick than live like this anymore."

22:06 -  "All I can say is, God Bless your ex."

23:12 - "How are you comparing me to that? My kids have all their digits."

24:30 - "I believe I can recover physically. I don’t know I would have been able to recover mentally." 

26:15 -  "I feel like I can almost always out-brain someone. I don't know if I can out-heart anyone."

36:00 - "My highest value in a relationship is freedom."

41:50 -  "If I really think someone could be a good match with me and I'm going to maybe want to be a partner with them, I will wait."

49:25 - "Now I'm actually making good money and I could be a Sugar Mama, but I don't want to be."

52:00 - “Why do we judge a potential match or a potential date when we barely know them, but we never judge our friends, who we know so much more about?" 

"People say they’re looking for their best friend, but when you add the physical component, people are like, ‘yeah, but you can’t have any other fucking friends. I don’t care if I’m your best or not, you get no more friends than ME.’”

52:58 - "Monogamy is about ownership. It’s about owning women and owning property and passing that property down to your children. It’s patriarchy, is what monogamy is. We’re tribal, and tribal people and human beings are more naturally polyamorous or open, sexually."

54:02 - "Circumcision was popularized in the United States to try to stop boys and men from masturbating. It was a Christian campaign."

"It didn't work. Pretty sure I’ve never man a man who doesn't masturbate."

55:10 - "One person can’t do that, and so it’s all this pressure that’s put on relationship now. It’s really unrealistic. I feel like that is a lot of the reason why our divorce rate is so high."

56:58 - "I’m looking for my ride or die. Well, you’re going to die. Because you can’t ride everywhere with everyone."

58:25 - "Having the freedom to make whatever connection feels natural with each person? To me that’s love. Restricting the type of connection someone else makes, is not love to me."

59:31 - "I also like going very deep with people."

1:00:35  - “Men are more open to that because they’re just trying to get their dick wet.” 

1:01:40 - “Put things down your urethra for sexual pleasure. I don’t know, it doesn’t sound pleasurable to me.”

1:07:45 - "Most people are not putting in that kind of effort. And so you can’t expect, sadly, them to be very mature. But you can require it in your life. And that’s the difference."

1:08:35 - "If I want to coexist with somebody, I have to make their needs as important as mine. And then we have to figure out how we get those needs met together. And so the relationship becomes an entity - there’s me, there’s you and there’s our relationship - and we have to caretake all of those things."

Show Notes

Nicole Ananda is graciously filling in for Scott as he recovers from back surgery. Learn more about her at AnandaIntegrativeHealing.com

On today's episode: 
8:15 -  "I'd rather take a chance and get sick than live like this anymore."

22:06 -  "All I can say is, God Bless your ex."

23:12 - "How are you comparing me to that? My kids have all their digits."

24:30 - "I believe I can recover physically. I don’t know I would have been able to recover mentally." 

26:15 -  "I feel like I can almost always out-brain someone. I don't know if I can out-heart anyone."

36:00 - "My highest value in a relationship is freedom."

41:50 -  "If I really think someone could be a good match with me and I'm going to maybe want to be a partner with them, I will wait."

49:25 - "Now I'm actually making good money and I could be a Sugar Mama, but I don't want to be."

52:00 - “Why do we judge a potential match or a potential date when we barely know them, but we never judge our friends, who we know so much more about?" 

"People say they’re looking for their best friend, but when you add the physical component, people are like, ‘yeah, but you can’t have any other fucking friends. I don’t care if I’m your best or not, you get no more friends than ME.’”

52:58 - "Monogamy is about ownership. It’s about owning women and owning property and passing that property down to your children. It’s patriarchy, is what monogamy is. We’re tribal, and tribal people and human beings are more naturally polyamorous or open, sexually."

54:02 - "Circumcision was popularized in the United States to try to stop boys and men from masturbating. It was a Christian campaign."

"It didn't work. Pretty sure I’ve never man a man who doesn't masturbate."

55:10 - "One person can’t do that, and so it’s all this pressure that’s put on relationship now. It’s really unrealistic. I feel like that is a lot of the reason why our divorce rate is so high."

56:58 - "I’m looking for my ride or die. Well, you’re going to die. Because you can’t ride everywhere with everyone."

58:25 - "Having the freedom to make whatever connection feels natural with each person? To me that’s love. Restricting the type of connection someone else makes, is not love to me."

59:31 - "I also like going very deep with people."

1:00:35  - “Men are more open to that because they’re just trying to get their dick wet.” 

1:01:40 - “Put things down your urethra for sexual pleasure. I don’t know, it doesn’t sound pleasurable to me.”

1:07:45 - "Most people are not putting in that kind of effort. And so you can’t expect, sadly, them to be very mature. But you can require it in your life. And that’s the difference."

1:08:35 - "If I want to coexist with somebody, I have to make their needs as important as mine. And then we have to figure out how we get those needs met together. And so the relationship becomes an entity - there’s me, there’s you and there’s our relationship - and we have to caretake all of those things."